porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
