Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.

(1-850): View more from Florida

Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.

Fav 11 1176 1931
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(949): View more from California

I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.

Fav 29 1321 3847
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(479): View more from Arkansas

You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

You got my ass fired just for knowing you

(479): View more from Arkansas

thanks for the bacon

Fav 19 5964 1679
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(541): View more from Oregon

Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk

Fav 7 4747 1689
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(281): View more from Texas

You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.

Fav 4 1145 1875
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(420): View more from

I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.

Fav 5 3283 1023
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(203): View more from Connecticut

The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.

Fav 5 2631 894
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.

Fav 1 862 658
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(224): View more from Illinois

She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.

Fav 0 322 169
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