I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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