That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
