You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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