I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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