there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
