I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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