How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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