Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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