once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
