another moral hangover. fuck.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
