Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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