Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think a kid would responsible me up
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
