I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
