Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize