I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
