sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
