He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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