Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
