I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
two words: eviction party
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
