I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
you made out with another girl for some wings
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