That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
