I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
