so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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