i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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