And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
