Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
