his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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