capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize