Small penises have feelings too.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
