I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
