Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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