Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
