Me too!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
