Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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