I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
