the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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