I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
