I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
