What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
