I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
