I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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