The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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