I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
