Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
