sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
