He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
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She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize