careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
