Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
