thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize