apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
