ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
