Man, jail baloney is awful.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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