Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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