Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
