Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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