In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
