You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
