Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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