We need to rekindle our bromance
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
