I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize