I don't think brook has ever known best
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
