he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
