Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize