I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
