I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
