i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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