And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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