they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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