apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
