you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
