K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
