please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
