i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
