I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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