Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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