what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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