Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
