Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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